Self repair or self harm?

As a typical Yorkshireman I am a great believer in make do and mend. So when, after pushing my guitar amplifier to its limits recently it responded by exploding, I decided to attempt the repair myself.

Armed with a circuit diagram and a screwdriver I set about a diagnosis. After poking around with a test meter and closely examining the many components my results were conclusive. The offending part was, I decided, the one that appeared to have burnt itself to a crisp. I ordered a replacement and felt suitably smug that nothing could now prevent the repair from being an unqualified success.

The weekend came and the project began. I confidently removed the blackened component and began soldering the new part in place. A soldering irons is, in case you didn't know, basically a metal stick heated to fierce proportions. Fully conscious of the safety implications I issued the usual warnings to the kids. "Keep away from this, it will burn you!"

It was therefore typically ironic that, whilst pressing the soldering iron against a connection, it slipped forward, embedding itself into my index finger. The searing pain was instant and I withdrew both hands in a mild panic. Sadly, in my haste to get the dangerously hot tool away from my finger, my hand retreated upwards and pressed the tip firmly into my forehead. In less than a second and accompanied by a slight hissing and the smell of burnt flesh, I succeeded in branding my head with a pronounced diagonal three inch stripe.

My family expressed their sympathy by pointing and laughing.

Returning to work on the Monday brought a wave of ridicule and disbelief to the office. With a distinct slanting mark across my head, cries of "Harry Potter", "Zorro" and most creatively, "Backslash" were the order of the day. Colleagues told me they were sorry to hear of my mishap, but that I should 'solder' on regardless.

My bizarre soldering accident scar has now faded to such an extent that 'backslash' is no longer appropriate. Today I am perhaps 'semi-colon'. Over the course of the weekend I will become 'colon', followed by 'coma'. On Monday I will be 'full stop' and by Christmas day, having spanned the full spectrum of punctuation, my alter ego will have disappeared completely!

Quite how, when soldering on a kitchen table, a responsible adult manages to singe his own head is a subject of much debate. I sometimes wonder if I should be left alone in the house. On a lighter note, the amplifier now works perfectly, the repair having cost £6.50 and a week's worth of ridicule. As a true Yorkshireman, I consider that a result.